


Anagram

by dancing_moon



Category: Sailor Moon
Genre: F/M, Gen, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-11-28
Updated: 2002-11-28
Packaged: 2017-10-17 20:01:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/180673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancing_moon/pseuds/dancing_moon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A diary from the Silver Millenium. Author, Jadeite of the Shitennou.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anagram

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: As I suddenly got bitten by a plotbunny, I wrote this down. Is just some excerpts from the diary of my favorite Shitennou, but I hope it's enjoyable. By the way, the somewhat erratic punctuation is purposeful, spelling errors not

7/1  
Weather: Boiling!

Things to do: Call the ambassador from Mercury, write a reprimand to the Mediterranean Guard, and finally check up that law.

Things I forgot yesterday: Excuse Zoi's behavior to the general of North-Africa, check up that law what's-his-name keeps nagging about, remind Kunzite to remind Endymion that the king's birthday is nearing... Have I got a present?

Notes: Everything's usual. The prince is mostly behaving, his teachers say that he'll be fit for the throne in a year or two. Suppose that means everyone will heap even more work on us, but I'm getting used to it (which might be a bad sign)  
Besides, there's gotta be a million deaths worse then having a heart-attack at thirty. I'll write them all down, soon as I think one up  
It's official now - Neph is obsessed with his stars. Wouldn't mind one bit, if he didn't insist on mentioning them in every other sentence. He's being a worry-wart as well (what else is new)  
It's not as if the prince's little flirt with Lady S. will cause a revolution in case they're found out. Of course, trying to explain that to Kunzite or Neph is like breaking stone with your teeth.  
Lost three pieces of gold to Zoi today, the rat's gotta be cheating somehow! You'd think that at least the prince would show a little compassion towards my poor financial situation, but he was to busy staring wistfully at the Moon to even notice my presence. Ah, young love... may it never infect me!  
Got a postcard from Lady M. today (you know you need a life when three lines and a picture of red rocks is the highlight of your day) She likes the Moon, except the food. They seem to have a thing about carrots. Also said no one up there has suspicions about Lady S. and the prince (yet) should make Kunzite happy.  
Personally, I take it as a proof that women have no place in politics; how can the Queen not be suspicious if her daughter has it halfway as bad as Endymion?  
Oh, almost forgot, another really, really nice thing happened today - I kicked Neph's ass at the training field today! About time  
Blah, Zoi says I gotta pack my stuff (what do we've got servants for anyway?) Can at least hope it wont be so damn hot in the mountains, beginning to think I live inside a frying pan.

15/1  
Weather: Rainy, cold, disgusting

Things to do: Fix a birthday present for the king. Write Lady M. Talk to the commissioner about a tax-raise, get a haircut (Urgent! A moron mistook me for Zoi from behind)

Things I forgot yesterday: ...Wow, I think I actually got everything done. Victory!

Notes: Never gonna complain abut living in tropical heat again. This rain, not to mention the constant sneezing is a lot worse.  
The prince and Kunzite are OK again, but this morning Neph woke up with the flu instead, and proved that there are people who are even more a pain in the ass then Endymion when they're sick (No.137 on my list of things I never really wanted to find out)  
Around supper, Zoi had had it and threatened to cut him open if he didn't stop whining; I'll be glad to help him.  
Note to self - Find out who made the royal decree about the prince and his guardians living in connected rooms, separated by nothing but bloody *curtains* and desecrate his bones.  
While I'm at it, look up Kunzite's lineage, because that man can't be human. He was burning with fever two days back, and he still beat me black and blue at the training field today. Only good point would be that he did the same with the moron who dared address me with 'lord Zoisite'. Suffer, bastard!  
Well, it's autumn, and we all know what that means... time to bring in the taxes (I hate my life sometimes, really)  
I seriously think that if I never need to listen to one more lousy excuse about why lord so-and-so can't pay up this year, I'll die a happy man.  
This year, the favorite excuse is of course that there's been a rebel attack. Man, those rebels must have enough provisions for an entire galaxy with the rate they've been stealing stuff!  
The more creative ones try to spice it up with demons and other monsters that aid the rebels (I'll send them a Nephrite who's got the flu and a hangover, then they'll know hellish creatures)  
Slightly worried about Endymion, he's still obsessing over the princess... never seen a fling that lasts this long. Still, Kunzite is overreacting (unless the sly bastard does have some feelings hidden under all that ice)  
He established a warded contact to Lady V. and according to her the inner guard can't really do anything either. Oh well, we know that our prince stays at this planet when he sneaks out to meet his girlfriend, they don't have that little comfort.  
Wonder if Lady M. needs a shoulder to cry out her troubles on?

28/1  
Weather: -

Things to do: AVOID KUNZITE! And in case he finds me, think up a really good excuse how come I forgot the King's birthday!  
Bribe the gardener who saw Endymion and Lady S  
And kill Zoi for spilling perfume on my bed

Things I forgot yesterday: The King's birthday (fuck), picking up my new uniform at the tailor's, so not only did I forgot his majesty's gift, I show up in wrinkled clothes. (fuck, Kunzite *is* gonna kill me)  
Of course, I also didn't remember to tell the kitchen staff to mix Neph's wine with water, so he'll be out of commission until after my untimely death

Notes: Lying in a bed that stinks of soap and cherry blossoms, and penning my last words, most likely  
Gotta admit, sometimes I'm really not that fond of my lifestyle, but it ain't so bad that I'm looking forward to my nearing funeral  
Argh, I can't believe it! I forgot his Majesty's birthday. That's just so... stupid! Even Zoi remembered!  
Maybe I should start paying more attention to my surroundings, but then people are always putting up flowers for on or another insignificant little celebration so how am I supposed to keep track of what flowers go to which feast?  
Of course, it's all Endymion's fault, since he forgets it more or less every year and that means Kunzite starts to nag about it months ahead, and that means the rest of us can relax because he'll yell at us about not having gotten gift yet when there's a few days left.  
Only this year, Kunzite stopped nagging two weeks before, because he had to go somewhere up North and inspect some black goo that's been destroying the harvest here and there. As on a cue, Endymion completely forgot that his glorious father's birthday was nearing (unsurprising, he forgets everything as soon as someone says the worth Moon or anything related to it) Sadly, it kinda slipped my mind too...  
Now, Kunzite, that evil - Elysion help me, is that him? ...only Zoi, good.  
Anyway, since Kunzite knows Endymion as good as I do (and since he never forgets anything, ever, the bastard) he brought some ancient sword overflowing with golden flowers and other junk and told the prince to give it to daddy.  
Did anyone give *me* as much as a slight hint? Did Kunzite or Neph or anyone in this damn palace think of giving poor Jadeite, who's desperately trying to manage the economic disaster known as Asia, a word of reminder? Nope  
At least the king seemed to genuinely appreciate his chocolate, but then the old guy walks around with his underwear on the head when he's alone  
Fuck! That's gotta be Kunzite  
Now, if I survive today, that will be only because Neph is so gone that he wont notice (or care) if someone temporarily moves in under his bed  
Pray for me!

14/2  
Weather: Rain, what else?

Things to do: Sleep, shave, change clothes. Remind Neph that he wanted to look up someone/thing called Metallia, find the South American baron and make a new appointment (after the shave + change of clothes)

Things I forgot yesterday: Go to bed

Notes: Oh joy. Returned from another unplanned two-day-long excursion spent looking for Endymion and his girlfriend. I'm getting just a bit tired on playing hide and seek every time she decides to sneak down here, I mean, it's not as if we aren't having enough of our own troubles.  
Rebels still haven't won any remarkable victories, but they're are getting more and more silent support, which means it's just a question of time before they begin to get noisy support. Are also indications of a leak here at court, Zoi's looking into it  
Anyway, our wayward prince is back where he belongs, and this time we'll make sure he stays here! But I gotta admit, it's a perverse sort of fun seeing Kunzite's rage coming down on someone besides me  
Blah, I've got tons of paperwork waiting... What better reason to write a long and detail entrance in my log? Sleep is out of the question anyway, people seem to assume that we guardians don't have such mortal needs. Therefore, look busy, and the slave drivers will probably leave you alone  
Ran into the Inner Guard yesterday (or was it early this morning?) and they were searching for Lady S (shared unhappiness does taste better)  
Lady M. was there, and I'm certain that she's the only woman in the entire solar system that can climb around in the Himalayas wearing stilettos and look halfway dignified. She didn't hit me when I told it to her - think I'm wearing her down!  
Lady V. hung all over Kunzite, and he didn't throw her into a ravine so I'd say my pretty isn't the only one who's being worn down  
Raised the stakes about their marriage with two gold pieces... Neph has way to much faith in Kunzite's resistance to female charm  
Zoi passed the time with finding another 100 gestures, words and insinuations that can create a flaming blush on Lady Blue's face, and I'm ashamed to say that if it wasn't so amusing to watch, I'd save the poor girl. For being such a sweet-faced youngster, Zoi's mind is way down the gutter. Now, the question is which prospect is the most unnerving... was he born like that, or did Kunzite teach him? (now there's a scary thought)  
Lady M's. insistence that it's mine and Endymion's bad influence that has made him turn out like that is of course pure nonsense, the prince doesn't know the half of those words and I learned most of them from Zoi.  
They've closed down a few more mines in Europe while we were out trekking, it's the same old problem... the ore disappears overnight and is replaced with black stone. Reports were completely messed up, that's what you get for letting miners do the work of bureaucrats, but in half of them it appears as if representatives from the rebels were there the days before. The other half blame it on the White Moon people, which is almost as ridiculous.  
Urgh... Neph's telling me to 'do something useful'

8/3  
Weather: Cold, windy and a bit sunlight

Things to do: Call my sister and her moron husband and arrange a meeting, attend the opening of the temple to some God I apparently worship (since when I'd like to know) find a more stable astronomer then Neph to ask about the sunspots  
On that subject, might be a good idea to get some medication for him

Things I forgot yesterday: Call my sister and her brain-damaged husband, pay Endymion for the dice game we had onboard (well, I ain't gonna remind him of that)

Notes: Home sweet home... who am I kidding? Hasn't been one day, and I already remember why I desperately wanted to move far, far away  
I should've know our awful trip was an omen or something. Halfway hurricane since we left port, and from the moment we got off it's only been getting worse!  
Every single useless moron who I couldn't stand/couldn't stand me when I was a kid has shown up to talk about the good old times and ask for favors, and I seriously thought I'd go insane, until Zoi offered to take the door.  
But that's only the beginning - seems like the terrorists have gotten some serious influence in Edo, they're burning the royal flag everywhere, except where they're burning the White Moon-banner. Guess three times who the prince and Kunzite are blaming for it. Yup, you've got it  
That I haven't put a foot in the country for like three years doesn't matters, no, of course not, nor the fact that people are pretty much as insane everywhere else as well  
Had a meeting with that annoying bishop or priest or whatever from Jupiter today. The way the Silver people act, you think they're actually trying to drive the entire Earth insane, looking down their noses at us just cause we happen to have a more dynamic generation-change. And then, when they're like this guy, always hiding behind a saintly smile it's enough to drive even me up the wall  
Made another futile attempt to convince Endymion that it would be better for us all if we could shrink the legal rights of the extraterrestrials, at least a bit (and in case you'll ever read this, Kunzite, I'm talking temporarily) Of course he refused, but Neph of all people made a complete turnabout and agreed with me. Hmm, might even be hope for our prince  
Sadly, Nephrite's sudden change of mind might have less to do with him seeing the light as with his coming nervous breakdown. Ever since he saw those damn sunspots (how can a big burning ball of gas have 'spots' anyway?) he's been all wired up and I fear that the overall tension's too much for him. Can't be good spending more time looking at the sky then where you're about to put your feet.  
Anyway, he's begun to read through the oldest and most boring books we've got and is obsessing about Metallia. Myself, I go with Kunzite and Zoi... why complicate things more then necessary, when we're almost certain it's a password and nothing more?  
Have work to do, but been so restless lately, specially when it comes to paperwork, not to mention I seem to be developing a migraine. Damn... Hope Neph is the only one cracking

17/3  
Weather: Awful

Things to do: Find Endymion and kill him or his girlfriend

Things I forgot yesterday: Chain Endymion to the bed (dammit, where's he gone this time?)

Notes: Seriously, if I ever get my hands on Serenity somewhere without witnesses I'll send here somewhere much higher up then the moon!  
Little witch lured him out again and we spent half day searching through Edo, and when Kunzite finally finds him, he tried to cover for her and swore that it was all his idea. Suure! So we drag him back to the palace, and he begins to argue with us for 'acting strange' and 'being paranoid'. I just ask, who's supposed to be who's lifeguard here?  
Headache (again, my life sucks) began yesterday evening, got steadily worse, like the weather, as I looked for the prince. I'm making myself really depressed here.  
Nice thing that happened today (the only) was the meeting with Lady Beryl - Gotta admit, that girl's smile is something special!  
More nice things... man, that was the only one! I need to get a life  
Have a huge stack of mail on my desk (getting as bad as Zoi) but it's more or less all junk from the Earth, or Mars so no one will mind too much if I push it off until tomorrow, or the day after  
Blah... how's one supposed to concentrate when a demon is playing drums on the backside of my eyeballs?  
Here's an interesting quiz to solve... if you've got a headache, and then add a hangover, will they kinda cancel each other, or will it get twice as bad? (since it can't get any worse then this, I'm prepared to make a wager)  
Where does Neph keep his emergency supply anyway?

20/3  
Weather:

Things to do:

Things I forgot yesterday:

Notes: Attacking today.  
Jadeite of the East is penning this chronicle, in the last day of the old time, by order of Her Glorious Majesty Beryl whom in her wisdom wishes us to document the fall of the Silver Millenium tyranny.  
Answer from Gaia arrived yesterday - his highness refused to join us, so the goal is now to eliminate him.  
The final troops have arrived, all soldiers are preparing for the battle where we'll rise up and crush the White Witch.  
We are leaving for Mare Serenitas shortly after nightfall, and according to our calculations we will have taken the palace by midnight.  
I hope the future can excuse my unsteady writing; my hand hungers for a sword. The presence of Her Greatness Metallia around us strengthens my determination to win the forthcoming assault.  
The entire operation bases on a fast, surprising attack that never gives the White Witch time enough to use the crystal that she has used, and misused, for a far too long time.  
After the leading nation of the solar system is conquered, the other planets will be an easy target, even if I can not share Lord Nephrite's optimism that they will arise together with us, screaming for revenge for the many years of oppression. When slaves have been slaves for eons, they forget what freedom is.  
...The call has come. We are leaving.

written in the margin  
My heart is beating with joy. I finally have the chance to fight for our new future and the excitement of battle is running through my blood. And still, I hesitate, lingering by my notebook one more moment, something akin to fear inside of me. I have no doubts, but-  
Victory is certain! Endymion, Serenity and all their comrades will fall and disappear in the tides of history.  
Then why can't I stop these tears?

-  
End  
-


End file.
